I've been really torn lately, find myself still loving the very person who threw me away like yesterdays garbage. We got engaged and I so happened to get pregnant so we got married right away. We are two different people but its what I loved about him.
I find my self sifting thru memories of our life together and I remember more days of total happiness then anything else. He's moved on with his life while trying to tare me down in the process by trying to take my pride and joy Hannah away from me. But yet I don't hate him, I can't find it in me to hate this man. He angers me and often I'm left wondering why he despises me so......Marriage is important to me and I believe in the vowels I took but I can't make someone love me. Sometimes I wish he still did so I least I know he has a heart. It's been over a year apart and I feel no less for him, how is this possible? Will I one day stop? Will I be able to love someone else that way? So many unanswered questions keep me still. I need answers but I know I won't get them.
I find men these days have no respect for who I am as a person. They come to me with expectations that I won't full fill and can't full fill. They look at my picture and expect someone totally different. We are so consumed with looks that personality and character doesn't matter untill after we find ourselves in a dead end relationship with that person. Well we learn from our mistakes and unfortunately we repeat them anyways. Muah!
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